(Novel) An Earnest Unrequited Love, Wanting to Make it Bear a Little Happiness


Romaji: Ichizu na Kataomoi, Minorasetai Chiisana Shiawase.
English: An Earnest Unrequited Love, Wanting to Make it Bear a Little Happiness.


Concept and Novel by 鳥居羊

Song by うたたP (Watch it here)

Illustrations by wogura

Note from descent87: I’m glad to bring you my first full-length novel translation! I’ve wanted to do these for awhile, but with how busy my job is, I had to wait to really improve my Japanese so that I could translate things like this quickly and efficiently without really consulting dictionaries and such because I wouldn’t have the time otherwise. In today’s part of the story we get a pretty ominous prologue followed by an interesting first chapter where we get to learn a little bit about our cute heroine and the strange events that are set in motion around her….(WARNING! This is PG-13+ right from the get go!!)

I hope you enjoy this tongue-in-cheek, yet rather horrifying story from Utata-P, wogura, and toriihituji’s series of “Happiness” songs. Mayu really is the perfect character for this kind of story. Toriihituji-san chose to write this book in a somewhat stream of consciousness, stilted style which I tried to reflect in my translation. However even I had to tone down the punctuation marks and fuse some sentences together to make it flow better in English. Please feel free to enjoy this translation, but don’t forget to buy the novel as thanks on Amazon (full of wogura’s amazing art) and also buy the album here. You can check out all of Utata-P’s translated “happiness” songs on my channels!

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Character Profiles (Japanese Style, last names first, pictures from right to left)

[Ichihana Mayu] A middle school girl who is in love with Nijou-kun. She’s very earnest.

[Mimi] A talking, shape-shifting self-styled “Advanced Next Generation Smartphone”

[Nijou-kun] Well-rounded and well-mannered, a cool-looking, popular, and perfect high school student.

[Witoko] Nijou-kun’s pet dog. Very fluffy.

[Shinomiya-senpai] Mayu’s kind and dependable senpai. Sometimes she can be a little scary.

[Secretary Sansui] A member of the Intelligence Department at the Ministry of Defense, Secretary of the Electronics Division, supposedly.

Prologue – 5 Minutes Before! (Page 9)

[Ichihana Mayu] The place where it all began

 My one-sided love finally bearing fruit (coming true), it’s just 5 minutes away. As for where we are now, well that’s basically the present. Here alone together in a hidden room. It’s such a wonderful time, but I’m well aware of the ticking of the clock, that hand moving forward little by little. Tick, tock, tick, tock. But wait a little bit more! It’ll be just a bit longer!

Nijou-kun is lying on the bed. Those lustrous bangs of his are just slightly askew. If he’d were to stand up, you’d see that he’s quite tall, but right now he’s sleeping. His eyes hidden behind those eyelashes are clear and kind-looking. He’s actually really kind. Even more than that, his smile is simply lovely, just wonderful…but right now he’s sorta knocked out, so his eyes have gone dim. But that can’t be helped. Lying atop those pure-white sheets, his hands are cuffed, fixed to the pipe that’s running above his head. It’s such a sad sight. But just wait a little bit longer, OK? I’ll help you in just a moment! The only one who can “help” you right now, at this moment, is me and me alone. (Note: The “help“ word she uses is “kaihou” which can mean “release you” and also “care for you”)

<<Cocaine, Marijuana, Heroin, Marijuana. Also thiopental (Note: an anesthetic sometimes used as a “truth serum” throughout history). All those things people tried in the past, they were basically all useless. Calling the stuff a “truth serum” is just a big, fat lie. But it’s fine. Please rest easy.>> My rabbit Mimi is at my feet talking happily, almost like he’s humming, explaining away.

<<But as for my special recipe, we add just a tad bit of barbital (a barbiturate) to some LSD…from there it’s just a little matter of properly adjusting the chemical composition in a way I can’t really say. Your beloved Nijou-kun, he’s gonna be in a really good mood with this stuff. So right now you two can share your fated moment together. Then you just have to make him promise. So shall we give it a go?>>

“Yeah, it’s all for the sake of our precious relationship after all. It can’t be wrong to make him promise, right?”

In my hand I’m holding an axe. It’s a broadaxe made out of metal. Mimi ordered it through the mail for me. It was just a teensy bit expensive. It’s really heavy, but yet quite useful and convenient. The large, sharp blade is glittering right before my eyes, but can Nijou-kun see it in that current state of his?

“Hey, Nijou-kun, promise me, OK? Our very own, our truly precious…just for the two of us….”

“Ah, um, wha-? I don’t really get it, but, OK.” Nijou-kun nods for me. I’m so happy. My heart is beating like crazy.

<<It’s working! It’s working!>> Mimi’s gone back to humming. He looks happy too.

The moment we sealed that promise of ours, I brought down the axe with all my might. In exchange for creating that special relationship of ours, I gotta cut these chains.

….but then again, my axe can’t cut through steel links, so I have to aim for somewhere else. Those beautiful wrists of his….but it can’t be helped. If I chop them off in one quick instant, I doubt it’d hurt too bad.

Slash! Hack! Chop! Slice! The assortment of noises is followed by an explosion of bright, red blood. Come on, remember, remember. While making Nijou-kun listen to me, I begin to recall things. This entangling of our fates, just where did it all begin? I’m sure we’ll get our happy ending.

That end is now. At this very moment. Um, that’s right…the beginning…it certainly had to be…

[The Target of that One-Sided Love] (Nijou-kun) At the Same Place

“It’s 5 minutes before” someone said. Right here in this place. But I’m not sure what’s going on. When I look up, there’s a girl standing above me. She’s really cute, but for some reason she makes me feel uneasy. I know her name. It’s Ichihana Mayu. Mayu-chan. I know her well. A voice in my head screams: “But, wait a sec…something’s not right here!”

Whose voice is that? I think it’s mine, but for some reason it feels like it belongs to someone else. A painful noise keeps throbbing in my head, but I can’t tell what’s wrong. I can’t think right now. But it’s just like this girl, Mayu-chan had said it’d be. Even the way she whispers in my ear is unbelievable cute. So cute. I love her. Yes, it’s definitely true.

She poked a small needle into the inside of my elbow and started whispering. “Leave it all to me, your happiness is right here, with me.” I understood it all quite well.

Tick, tock, tick, tock. With each passing second I felt like I understood it more and more. I look to the side, catching a glimpse of a clock there. There’s a couple of chords running from the clock down to a large, metal cylinder. It’s all held together with screws and some welds.

Tick, tock, tick tock. The numbers keep counting down. Such a weird thing, I wonder what it’s for?

The next thing I find myself worrying about is the way my hands are currently held in place by these thick, cold chains. It’s looks almost like I’m a dog chained to a post. I can’t even get up from where I am.

This cute girl, Mayu-chan, she smiled and said: “Hey, Nijou-kun, promise me, OK? Our very own, our truly precious, only for the two of us….”

“Ah, um, wha-? I don’t really get it, but, OK.” I nod. Why, you ask? Well I love her, I love her, I love her. What she whispered to me has become the only thing that matters. It’s the only important thing. I understand it completely. It’s finally here, “5 minutes before”. That gigantic axe swings down.

Where to? Above me? Why? I don’t get….

Slash! Hack! Chop! Slice! A bunch of loud noises and then they were severed. Sliced clean through. Suddenly I was beset by a shocking, gut-wrenching pain; like someone had trampled me flat. More like a searing flash of heat. It felt like someone had driven a pair of sharp iron stakes into my temples. Like I’m losing my mind, wondering if this is all some kind of hallucination. It feels like my wrists are on fire.

I look to the side again. The clock is still there. I see my arms rolling away. Bright red, fresh blood is splattered everywhere. And Mayu-chan is smiling so cutely. Just beaming. Yes, that’s why I love her.


Chapter 1: Fate Approaches


Part 1

[Ichihana Mayu] It was the morning of a certain day… (Page 16)


It said “Address not found”. But before even asking “what?” or “why?”, did I actually…?

It was like a question mark was about to pop up above my head. A small package. One that you could easily hold in two hands. Pretty light for its size. I turned it over and looked to look at the bottom.

[Ichihana Mayu]. I-chi-ha-na-ma-yu. It’s a name I know really well. That’s because, well, it’s my name! It was printed right there along with my address and postal code. It looks like I really was the one who sent it. I really don’t get what’s going on here. But let’s get back to those very first questions:

“What?”, “Why?”, wait, did I actually…?


I flipped it over once more, spun it around, put it on its side, sat it back up. Then I took a long hard look at the address, half-written address on the box. My eyes feel like they’re about to turn the size of two dinner plates, they probably already have. That’s because I have no clue what’s going on here. I have no recollection of sending this. The name of the town and street of the intended recipient aren’t even written down. There’s no way this package would ever get to where it’s going. Is that why it “came back” to the home of the sender, me, with an “Address Not Found” stamped on it? OK. Still lacking the slightest clue, still wondering just what the heck was going on here, I gave the box a quick shake. There was just the slightest of rumbles from within. So it seems like whatever is in there has a little bit of mass, perhaps a little hardness too.

I put it close to my ear and give it another shake. Another rumble. Though it looks like a perfectly normal mail-order package, the contents are a complete mystery. Of course, this was never a “delivery” in the first place, rather it was apparently returned due to the incomplete address on the package. Ah, I got it. Since the sender was supposedly “me”, well then it’s fair to say that whatever is inside belongs to me as well. So if I open it and see what I put inside, then this will all be settled in a flash. If you think about it, it’s quite simple. The question mark above my head vanished and I break out into a smile. So stupid of me to worry.

I was about to open the package when I suddenly remembered to check the time. I turned over my wrist to glance at my watch and “whoa!” it’s already this late?! I didn’t have time to waste on this to begin with. If I’m late it’ll be terrible. As for what exactly, well, it’s a very important time for me. I absolutely must not be late. I only have just the slightest bit of time to spend next to him each day…yes, him, that special person. I gotta hurry! Run! Run!

I threw the box to the side and it tumbled down the hallway. Whatever. I didn’t get a good look at it, but I figure that it probably didn’t have “Fragile, Handle with Care” written on it anywhere. Don’t worry about it, there’s no time to waste! I gotta hurry!

I break out into a full sprint, getting stuck at the crowded ticket machine line, but I somehow make it through. Sprinting up the stairs, I make a sliding finished onto the usual train I take to school. Not a moment too soon! I made it somehow! *Huff huff* I can barely breathe. Only 10 minutes until I reach the stop where I get off to go to my middle school. I start looking around, standing on my tip-toes and stretching as far as I can. All these stupid salarymen are totally in the way. Won’t you just disappear already? I’ll never forgive these dopes if they keep me from my all-important encounter. I push through the surrounding crowd, slowly making me way towards the usual spot. Is he there? Is he there? He’s really tall so it’s never that hard to pick him out. I’m sure he’s in his usual place. I want him to be there. If he isn’t, I’ll be devastated. He’s surely, definitely there.

I found him! I can’t help but smile. It’d be so embarrassing if someone knew what I was feeling right now, but I seriously doubt that anyone knows who I’m looking at, so it’s fine. I slowly creep closer. Tiptoeing in, as quiet as a cat.

He’s grabbing onto the handhold with one hand and holding his book with the other, same as always. The title changes every 2 or 3 days. He doesn’t seem to have a specific genre preference. But if I had to say, I’d guess that mysteries were a bit more frequent than others. Today’s title is a new one so I took out my smartphone. With a quick glance I note the title and type it out into the memo app. Today’s book memo is complete. This makes me really happy. I can’t seem to keep a smile off my face, but it can’t be helped. Next I look up at him.

I want to get up real close, but I don’t for a second believe that I have the courage to really do it. The heels of my loafers slowly rise off the floor, standing up just the slightest bit on my tiptoes. If I don’t strain my neck upwards, I can’t see his face. His beautiful, silky hair. He looks like a serious, studious student, and I know that he is also really good at sports. It’s a bit of an old saying, but I think you’d have to call him “文武両道” (an old term for samurai skilled in both the literary and martial arts), I guess. He’s looking down at his book, so it’s hard to see his eyes. His eyelashes are a bit long for a boy. Of course, I know his name. It’s Nijou-kun. He always takes the same train to school that I do, same time, same train car. That’s why it’s not hard for us to share these 10 minutes together. But he’s a high school student who gets off after I do, so it’s impossible for us to stay together long. Even though it eats at me, it can’t be helped. “It’s fine.” I think to myself. I mean, sharing the same space like this, being so close together that if I just reached out my hand I could touch that beautiful, silky hair of his. Of course, there’s no way I’d ever actually be able to do that.

But despite all this I’m at a loss for a way to get close to him. God (Kami-sama), don’t you think it’s time for a little miracle? Though I think about him all the time, I’m pretty sure that no one’s the wiser, but surely God….better yet, if Kami-sama isn’t kind enough to grant me a miracle like that, then I have no need for him anyway. I could care less if he was even real. No one would mind if he wasn’t there. If your actually there, then you better do your job! This love of mine is so earnest, surely you recognize that, right?

I can’t keep a sigh from leaking out. Ah, Nijou-kun’s pretty face. Those beautiful, blinking eyelashes…I wonder what he’s thinking about. Is he empathizing with the protagonist in his book, thinking about the heroine? I’m jealous. I wish he thought about me like that. But maybe it’s not just about love. I’m sure I can figure it out if I look up the title I wrote down earlier. But the very moment I grabbed my phone, it vibrated with surprisingly good timing.

A message? I look down. [One New Message] <Congratulations!>. It’s flashing, a digital sign. It’s an icon shaped like a wrapped present. So what exactly is there to celebrate? <You’ve been chosen to try out our new product!> The box started bouncing up and down.

TOTALLY suspicious. This is beyond fishy. Is there anyone in the world who’d actually fall for this crap? There’s a pair of ears coming out of the box. Long, pink, I’d guess they look like rabbit ears. Bending, stretching, shaking left and right, the icon looks pretty fancy, but it also looks really, really suspicious. Seriously, something’s fishy here. Just looking at it makes me knit my eyebrows (Note: Mayu is also “eyebrow” in Japanese, heh heh). The icon suddenly displays a countdown, going 3, 2, 1 and then a new message appears.

<YES / Hai (Note: Yes, written in Japanese) / Think on it a bit> A 3-choice question? Um, so what am I supposed to do here? Honestly, there’s no point in worrying about it. If I just move it to the recycle bin, that will be the end of that. I put my finger on the screen and drag the icon towards the trash bin that pops right out, basically telling me I made the right decision. Of course, anyone would throw out something as shady as this…

After a brief flicker, suddenly a red sign appeared on the screen. Suddenly the phone’s LED light lit up, is it sending a message? I didn’t do anything but try to delete this stupid icon, and yet…before I could even think it over for a second, suddenly, there was a huge shock at my feet. The train was making a sudden stop. This is horrible!

There was a loud metal screech and the brakes were loud enough to leave my ears ringing. Everyone collapsed into one another and I was caught up in an avalanche of passengers, swallowed up by the waves of bodies. What should I do!? I couldn’t do anything but shut my eyes and hold on tight to my smartphone. I thought I had a good grip on the overhead handle but stuck in this mass of humanity it wasn’t possible to hold on. When the train finally came to a full stop, I opened my eyes and was shocked to realize that I hadn’t gotten buried in the massive pile of passengers. “Why?” I wondered. But the moment I realized the reason, my eyes opened as wide and as round as they could get. Nijou-kun’s face was right before my eyes. So close. He was looking at me with a concerned expression. He’s literally right front of me. I mean, just what am I supposed to do!? I don’t even know what I should say, but it doesn’t matter because my lips won’t even move. Not a single word comes out. I’m sorry I doubted you! I’ll properly apologize for saying you were useless! Kami-sama, you were there all along! And right before, yes, this is the miracle he set in motion for me.

As for Nijou-kun, I basically know everything about him. I was always hoping that something like this would happen. I’d even tried imagining it. I didn’t consider it to beimpossible at least. There was no reason for me to hold out hope, but somehow I was just certain it could happen. One day when using one of those first-love divination sites, I got the fortune: “Your compatibility is definitely 5-stars! Perhaps he’s your fated person!”. The moment I saw that, it all clicked. Of course we were tied together by the string of fate, there was no reason to doubt it.

This train is the train we always use to go to school. I know the route like the back of my hand. That’s why I’m always sure we can meet. I know that I can always see my lovely Nijou-kun. The bookmarked website that always pops open from that fluffy icon, that free divination site I always use called “Usausa Divination” (Note: “usausa”, sounds a little bit like “usagi” which means rabbit (like her soon to be pet smartphone Mimi) and also the word “Usa” means gloom, so it has a slightly ominous tone that only us readers are supposed to realize), it’s amazing just how on the mark it was! That’s why I gotta believe it, today’s already going great, our compatibility is off the charts. As for today’s lucky item…rabbit ears. Just how am I supposed to get my hands on those? I thought about it but I didn’t really have that much time. But it’s fine. Today’s obviously a Lucky Day after all. I’m sure I’ll find them as I go along. Trusting in the fortune-telling, my heart was already aflutter. (Note: This is a line from the lyrics of the original song, references!) I got on at are usual stop and I was able to meet Nijou-kun. Everything’s been right on the mark. It’s a Lucky Day.

Just getting a side-long glance of him, standing on my tip-toes, just that is enough to fill me with joy. I couldn’t wish for anything more…but even while thinking that, my feelings just grow stronger and stronger. I can’t hold them back. So much that it leaves me all flustered.

Just looking at him makes me feel all embarrassed. I always want to talk to him but there’s absolutely no chance for me to do so. It’s impossible, there’s no way….not for a chibi (tiny girl/boy) like me, stupid and with only average cuteness…there’s no way for me to reach someone like Nijou-kun who is so loved by everyone….Nijou-kun….

Yes, THAT Nijou-kun. He’s looking at me right now as his eyelashes continue to flutter.

What a wondrous moment! The train braked so suddenly. I was caught up in the crashing wave of people. Could it be that everyone on board was somehow banding together to help me? Do things like that even happen? I’m sure they do. They definitely do. I mean this miracle happened, right? Lucky Days really do exist!

Just when I was about to fall, Nijou-kun saved me. Hugging me tight to keep me steady. But even more than that, yes, he’s looking at me with a worried, concerned expression. Looking at him so closely like this, I gotta say, for a boy those eyelashes really are so long and beautiful…..

“Are you OK? Can you stand?”

“Y-yea, yes! I can stand!” I nod my head up and down.

I’m red all the way to my earlobes I bet. I can even imagine the steam coming out of my ears.

So, what? What should I do!? Rather, I doesn’t matter if I just do nothing. Even if the world were to end at this very moment, that’s perfectly fine. I can replay wonderful, one-second miracle in my head for the rest of my life, so much so that I’d gladly sacrifice everything else I care about. I think there is a saying for times like these…”Stay moment, stay…”..or something, “you are so beautiful….”, something like that. (Note: She is basically saying a broken quote from Faust in Japanese)

Remember, remember. That’s right. It was the book Nijou-kun was reading 16 days ago. The title was “Faust”. Wanting to better trace Nijou-kun’s thinking, I borrowed it from the library and read it too. There’s no doubt. The protagonist made a contract with someone…that was when he said it. (Note: That contract was with the devil btw.)

My tall Nijou-kun stood back up, pulling me up with him.

“Did you hit yourself anywhere? Are you really OK?”

“I-I’m fine! Uh, ah, th-thank you very much!” Totally panicking, I give a quick nod. I just couldn’t keep my eyes on his.

It’s such a wasted opportunity, but I just can’t look at him when he’s so close. It’s sooo embarrassing. It really is such a waste. My “miracle” is over now. With a rumble, the train started moving again. Nijou-kun watched me take hold of the overhead handle and then reached down to pick up the book he dropped. He had dropped it in his rush to save me. To be honest, I wanted to pick it up for him. Then I could strike up a conversation, pretending that I was reading the same one and continued things along from that little white lie. I’m sure we could have kept talking like that. I’m such an idiot! Fool! Dummy! All that self-hatred is just spinning about inside my head. Why couldn’t I have realized it the moment it happened! My lips were pursed tight with regret. (She’s actually saying that they pursed like a caterpillar, imagine that wiggly, cute “flustered” shape that girls’ mouths have at similar moments in anime and manga, aka really cute)

Suddenly, I realized that I’m grasping something hard with my hand. Come to speak of it, I was holding my smartphone wasn’t I? It was the slightest bit of good fortune that I didn’t drop it during that whole mess. Even though I think I used up all my luck on my recent encounter with Nijou-kun. But I suppose that’s a good thing too. All those important birthdays and mail addresses, if I had smashed it on the floor…I wouldn’t dare to even look at it.

Stuck regretting just how short my conversation had been with Nijou-kun, I looked down at the screen.

Huh? Something changed.

Something changed since before the train stopped. What is it exactly?

The touchpanel has the same wallpaper as always. My icons are all lined up. The transmission LED light was blinking. It looks like I sent something out. But I don’t usually do that. It’s strange. Did I hit something when I was holding on to it earlier? But even while thinking that, my heart is still beating like crazy, and I’m doing my best to catch a glimpse of Nijou-kun out of the corner of my eyes, so all in all my brain is pretty busy. This is that precious sliver of time before I reach the station where I have to get off to go to my middle school. I don’t have time to worry about trifling things like that. I don’t have a single moment to waste.

“Whatever, it’s fine.” I smile. While smiling I slip my phone that’s still luckily in one piece into the pocket of my school uniform.

I’m sure my Lucky Day will keep going. Today is 24 hours long after all, and since I’m sure that my “Usausa Fortune” is on the mark. (There’s no way it couldn’t be!), I still got a chance!

The train comes to a stop. Normally this time. This is where my school is, so I have to get off. Nijou-kun, I’ll see you later! In my imagination I wave to him, and the tiny stuffed rabbit hanging from my backpack shakes and waves too. I get off the train quickly, moving fast, like a startled rabbit. (Note: that’s what the kanji for the word she uses literally mean). I run towards the escalator. Today is definitely my Lucky Day. There’s no doubt. I mean, I just experienced that brief, happy miracle. It’s all so wonderful. A wonderful start to my day…I’m certain there’s much more in store.

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7 Responses to (Novel) An Earnest Unrequited Love, Wanting to Make it Bear a Little Happiness

  1. Alexia says:

    This is a fantastic story!
    Keep up the good work!

  2. Pingback: (Part 3) An Earnest Unrequited Love, Wanting to Make it Bear a Little Happiness | descent Subs

  3. Pingback: (Part 2) An Earnest Unrequited Love, Wanting to Make it Bear a Little Happiness | descent Subs

  4. good work 😀
    but can I ask? is there a pdf for this? It would make it more easier for me to read it thanks ^^

    • Descent87 says:

      Once I finish book 1 in a few weeks I’ll put it together as a pdf and provide it to people.

  5. Sofi says:

    Thank you for your dedication! This has been the year I have started reading Vocaloid novels, I hope to read many more if my free time allows me. Keep up the good work! 🙂 I admire you.

  6. YupTanya says:

    This is amaziiiiiiing!! Thank you for translating <3!

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